A thousand knives

we argued today..
i hate this feeling.
i hate it when we argue.
it always makes me so sad and end up crying.

i guess distance is tearing us apart slowly.
we live different lives.
doing different things everytime.
thats how misunderstandings occur.

he said he doesnt feel my love as much anymore..
he said i dont care much about him anymore..
those words stabbed my heart like a thousand knives.

everyone knows that chinese new year is just a few days away.
now that im jobless, i always go shopping for chinese new year preparation with mom.
all the food and drinks for chinese new year.
chinese new year clothes..
maybe in his family, he didnt need to help preparing those things, cuz he got work.
but not in my family.
i have to clean my house, clean the car,
cook for my mom, wash the clothes.
cuz mom got work so im the one who's free to do these.
and we get so caught up preparing for chinese new year,
no time to talk or maybe asked less questions like "have u eaten? are u home yet?"
he thinks that i dont care abt him anymore :(
he should have stood in my position and try to understand me..
i love him so so sooo very much..
which part of it doesn't he understand?

if he's saying that i dont love him as much anymore based on these small things,
i have a lot to say about his way of expressing love to me too.
if you really love your girl..
dont u want her to be happy?
sometimes u can be the one who care for her first.
don't wait til she ask u.
you got work and you are very tired after work..
she got stuff to do and she's tired from it too..
sometimes i feel that his work is more important than me.
i don't really remember if he's every asked how my day was.
"how's ur day?" "wat did u do?" "did u enjoy your day?" never heard from his mouth before.
but he expects me to ask him these to show my caring to him.
he didn't know i've been out shopping for his secret valentines present for days, i still haven't chosen the right present for him.
seriously dislike this feeling right now.
i feel so sad and misunderstood :(
i tried to explain to him, he said "ok then, you win"
my heart straight away broken into pieces.
 T__T