exam's over!!

yeaaahh~~~~ i finished my exam!!
had 2 exams today.. both were hard subjects for me,
but i stayed up many nights to study..
and the first exam wasn't too bad, i know most of the answers and i wrote a lot on that paper.. haha.
the second one... T_T i dont really know how to do.. but i think my assignment will help pull up the marks
for this exam.. since i think i did good on the assignment.
will go get my assginemnt end of this week. PRAY HARD!!
sigh.
First year when i came here, i got all HD(high distinction) and DI (distinction) for all subjects.
Second year first semester mostly DI and CR(credit) and 1 HD.
Second year second semester though.. i got Credit and P(pass)... and 1 fail :(
Third year first semester, i got all P (pass), then now im repeating my failed subjects, i hope i can pass this time.
my grades got worse and worse :(
used to kind of 'compete' with another asian girl.. always aim for HD and DI, but now as long as i pass im happy. first 2 years, my results were top in class. 2nd year 2nd semester everything changed though.
but after that i tried to catch up.
the subjects got harder and harder..and i start to wonder to myself if im that stupid.
why cant i understand what others can? is it because of english since the rest of the class are all local Australians.
i wanted to get a tutor to teach me after class, but it costs like 30 dollars an hour..and i dun wanna spend the money, so i tried to get help from classmates, haha, turns out the one who did assignment with me wasn't very good too. but at least a bit better than me. but i stick with her because she's a nice girl, not like others.
sometimes they can be quite racist u know..
sigh..what to do. that's life. You have Ups, you will sure have Downs.
you can't always be at the best all the time.
haha i remember Jan told me that i'm the type of person who puts a lot of effort in one thing,
but the results will always be not as good. i guess so.
my assignemnts.. is basically a FAIL.
i suck at essays. and citations. and finding musical examples.
even if i think i did great..the results will always just linger between fail and pass...it wont go further.
so this semester i got help from a classmate, and we did our assignments together. i hope it turns out good.
good luck!! fighting!!

Now i can start packing, hehehe!